I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
