D3 body, D1 cock
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
