Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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