But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
