im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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