i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
