normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
