we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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