Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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