guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
