Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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