You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
sick fucks of a feather flock together
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
