you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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