i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
