i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
