Michael Bay diarrhea
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
