Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
