Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Success! We fucked roommates!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
