i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
