do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
