We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
