I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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