Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
