Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
