I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
