You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So much rum. So many feels.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
