she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
