I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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