Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think i have herpe
just one?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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