I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
