it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it glows. i had to have it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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