My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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