I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
