best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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