Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
