I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize