Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
