I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
