Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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