Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
that may or may not have been my penis.
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