can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How naked do you want me to be?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
