I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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