I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
