I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
