ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
