I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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