Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
