Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This is the high leading the old right now
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
