Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
