Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize