You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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