did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
im six kinds of drunk right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
