We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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