I can tuck mytits in my pants
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
