It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
