hotel room ftw
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
