he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
