If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
