just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
