sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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